2005 March archive at Glittering Muse

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Archive for March, 2005

For Barbara, until we meet again.

Published March 31st, 2005 in Love and Sad Poems and Personal. 1 Comment

This beautiful eulogy was written by my housemate, Joseph, who was quickly becoming friends with Barbara.

How can you.
In spring.
At Easter.
Was it Good Friday, Barbara?
Will you rise again the third day?
Master, had you been here, my brother had not died.
Had I heard the phone ring
Had I heard the phone ring
We were going to color easter eggs
Maureen Beth Katrina Me
and Barbara
Saturday we were going to color Easter Eggs.
Have a jolly old time.
Make new friends
Have a jolly old time
For easter, for spring
For rebirth.
If a man die, can he live again?
Barbara.
Beth had bronchitis.
Maureen had to rush to help a friend.
Sorry, no easter eggs.
Sorry Barbara.
Sorry.
Sorry.
I called, left a message
Sorry, no easter eggs
No celebration of rebirth
Later, I’m sure, sometime. Hope you’re well.
Click.
You called. No one heard the phone ring.
Was the blade in your hand when you called?
No one heard you call.
No one heard you calling
No one heard.
If if if if. If only. If.
No one caught you.
Could I catch you? Could anyone?
You looked into me:
Hungry eyes, longing eyes, I held your eyes as long as I could
Barbara.
I’m not Gabriel.
I have no silver trumpet.
I cannot hold your soul
Slipping slipping slipping away.
How could you
In spring.
The roses will bloom, Barbara.
How will they bloom, knowing you are not there?
Will they not blacken, a sudden blight
turn your yard to mourning?
No, Spring will come
Roses bloom.
They whisper: For roses know. For roses know.
Roses, trees, they have come, they see:
Human lives burning light bright flames
Little lights burning burning burning
The roses know,
They dance, they hold her
Her suffering soul nestled in their velveted petals.
The roses know
Sorrow. They hold deep in their dark velvet heart
The roses know
Roses know it is spring.
Roses wear thorns and wrap themselves in velvet
Velvet: dipped in blood.
We pruned your roses together.
Cut out the dead
Cut out the old and useless and overgrown.
Cut back to the fresh, bleeding green of life
Cut it back.
For it is spring. Time.
Time to: Let death go
The soil whispers of dead things falling to the ground
Dead things: slipping apart to feed
New glowing green rising from the soil
It is spring. Let us whisper: rebirth.

Goodbye, Barbara

Published March 30th, 2005 in Personal. 0 Comments

WHAM!
Blind-sided. Saw something coming when the caller ID showed her son’s name. Please let her just be in the hospital. He found her yesterday. She’d been laying there for days. Took some pills and slit her ankles.
Implosion.
Shock.
Thinking, “I should have been watching her more closely. I should have called her while I was out of town. I should have…”

Spring weather came today, a few days late. Can’t we just fix it… rewind?

She was here last week, so sad and depressed, wilted, gray, just wanted me to rub her feet. Ahh, a little life, a little tiny hope. Continue reading ‘Goodbye, Barbara’

Practicing Clarinet

Published March 29th, 2005 in Personal. 1 Comment

When I practice the clarinet, I try to start from a blank page, blowing warm air from my heart, not judging what comes out of my instrument. That’s me flowing out the other end (among other ends) and I best not trash it. At first it’s huffy and airy and fuzzy. But eventually it starts to refine itself, flowing into a satisfying resonance, with the depth of character I seek. And if not, I try to stay emotionally open to let it happen when it will.

I always keep the ideal of the perfect sound in my ear, to guide me and my instrument toward it. I never reach it. That’s the curse of the performer, to struggle toward an unreachable goal. But to shimmy close to that pure ideal even a few times in a career is the musicians blessing. For me to be able to express and make real the elusive perfection of music is my greatest challenge and my greatest gift.

Sonnet For Alberta

Published March 25th, 2005 in Personal. 2 Comments

I wrote this sonnet for my mother, Alberta, for her 81st birthday. Both my parents are amazing people. I often share them with friends.

Your grace and peace are infectious, glowing, light.
Your spirit, unconquerable, guides with unhindered freedom.
Maintaining regal poise, you’re a glamorous sight.
With efficiency of thought, of love, unhurried speed,
Your gentle acceptance of years betrays no fright,
While gumption and motion allow you to take a lead,
Living by example, not yielding so gently to night.
Planting sage advice, carefully as seeds,
Never judging, (save the rare, pointed word
To emphasize your opinion of how your son should look!).
Yet always, care and concern is shown for little birds,
God’s frail creatures, many, in time’s fragile brook.
The time I spend with you forms memories’ precious trove,
While I barely show you enough how full is my love.

Most of my poems are free form. Sonnets have a certain defined rhyme and rhythm. I enjoyed this challenge.

Springing Clean

Published March 22nd, 2005 in Noteworthy, Inspirational Poems, Inspiration, Healing and Spirituality. 0 Comments

Chuck the cluttered
basement of it’s crusty junk.
Give clothes to charity,
so new memories may flutter
along wrinkled threads
which languished in trunks.

Spritz your spirit
with eau de new leaf.
Shine your shoes
with gratitude.
Don’t forget
each breath is a thief
with a gift of another,
and a chance
for a fresh attitude.
Shed your grudges.
Dust off your virtues.
Ring a clear bell
in a zingy new key.
Spring clean and clear
of your long gray shadow,
sallow and pasty
in Winter sheaf.
Hope Springs Eternal.
‘Tis the Season to Renew.

Happy Spring Equinox!

Glitter Meanderings

Integrity recognizes itself.–
The power of the inability to learn a lesson is the multiplier of the cost to fix it.–
The ego is a useful vehicle, if you get to know the driver.

Those are from Bradisms. Brad regularly expounds on various subjects ranging from politics to trust to caring to love, all with an inimitable style which can only be described as “pithy”, meaning tersely cogent. He also has a webpage featuring a collection of his best work, also worth visiting. Brad recently commented on my post Truth and Being, where I attempt to summarize large patterns in life, and which I almost deleted because of its intractable pithiness. But Brad seemed to understand my obscure logic. Then I found this post, “Life is…” on his website, and realized I think a lot like him. Yet he allows himself much more freedom in the realm of pithiness than I! Thanks Brad, for showing us how playfully rich truth can be.

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David Depape has a blog he cleverly calls “God is Love“. I’m sure he intends those words’ various echoes of meaning, from completely ironic to absolutely and literally true.

His voice is as subtle and complex as the title. He is neither religious nor atheist. The hypocrisies of organized religion get no mercy from him, but nor do rabid atheists. Somehow he finds inspiration in the ambiguous truth of neither/nor.

Take his post, The Religion of Science.

Religion is a form of stagnant science. Christianity is based on science. The priests were the scholars and scientists or their day. They observed the world and came up with a theory of existence based upon what they could observe. They didn’t know about atoms, cells and the quantum level. They came up with the best theory they could with what little they knew. Religion is science that got stuck on proving old theories. Now atheism is doing the same. Atheism is stuck on proving a point and it’s clinging to theories that are becoming antiquated in the face of new discoveries.
Instead of admitting what we know and admitting what we don’t know and moving forward from there.

I think you’ll find his views as refreshing as I did.

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I enjoy finding blogs (sort of) similar to mine. It’s taken me awhile to find my niche; a peculiar blend of personal experience, spiritual advice, philosophical explorations, poetry, gardening, food and general inspiration. Yesterday someone named Titus-Armand commented on my site, so I checked out his blog, Project Armannd. I was pleasantly surprised to fine a quality blog, one which isn’t prepackaged to a particular audience as so many are these days. He explores a variety of subjects toward living a better life; “about today’s society, issues of today’s world, tips on self-improvement, spiritual advices, inner peace, general psychology, happiness, and some other things…” The topics he chooses are intriguing and unique, like the psychological meaning of certain eye movements. But he doesn’t just report. He interprets. I like that. Welcome Titus-Armand (TA?). I like your style.

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What a great blog name: The Green Atheist. I popped over there after a search for posts tagged “humanism” and found a clean, clear and well written blog. The head article today is a bullet list of the Principals of Humanism. Thank goodness humanism is catching on again. The founding fathers of the USA would be proud!

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