Why would anyone want to make a blonde joke anyway? Ask any blonde you know, it is believed that blonde jokes were invented by brunettes, jealous of Marilyn Monroe getting to have sex with JFK. Q: What about the blonde who gave birth to twins? A: Her husband is out looking for the other man. Q: Did you hear about the dead blonde in the closet?
How do you confuse a blonde? She is stumped on how to tell the blonde to bring the truck and trailer. A blonde goes into a Louisiana shoe store and ask the price of some alligator shoes. Q: Why did the blonde have tire tread marks on her back? I fall for it every […]. A blonde, a redhead, and a brunette were all lost in Funny clean short blonde jokes desert. No one can decide who should go, so finally the brunette delivers blondee very touching speech, ending with the words, "I'll get off. They have just lost their bull. You can negotiate with a terrorist. A: They keep breaking the prescription bottles in the typewriters.
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A: She moved. A: Not everyone has been inside jokds A blonde was driving down the highway when she read a sign saying, "Clean Restrooms Next 10 Miles. Why didn't the blonde want a window blodne on the plane? To keep their ankles warm. After a couple of his jokes, she stood up and shook her fist Funny clean short blonde jokes the ventriliquist, saying " How dare you put a stereotype on people like that! A guy took his blonde girlfriend to her first football game. She is stumped on how to tell the Atmosphere and mature trees to bring the truck and trailer. No one can decide who should go, so finally the brunette delivers a very touching speech, ending with the words, "I'll get off. Q: Why does it take longer to build a Blonde snowman? A: It gets toad away. They always forget the recipe. A: Because the queen has reigned there for years!
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- A senior in college took his blonde girlfriend to a football game.
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- A blonde, a redhead, and a brunette were all lost in the desert.
My favorite sexy blondes are the ones playing with their stupid blonde reputation. I fall for it every […]. At the top of the stairs are untold riches, but […].
At the top of the stairs are untold riches, […]. We need to do better today than believing dumb blonde jokes just to protect a favored nominee whose behavior should actually disqualify him from a promotion to […]. Sign up for the Thought Catalog Weekly and get the best stories from the week to your inbox every Friday. You may unsubscribe at any time. By subscribing, you agree to the terms of our Privacy Statement.
Clueless 1. Why do blondes tip-toe past medicine cabinets? How do you keep a blonde busy? How do you keep a blonde in the shower all day? Why did the blonde get so excited about finishing a jigsaw puzzle in six months? What did the blonde say after glimpsing a box of Cheerios? Donut seeds! To be like Vanna White and actually learn the alphabet. Why do blondes love boob jobs? What did the blonde say when she found out she was pregnant?
Why do blondes stare at orange juice containers for hours on end? Why did the blonde put her iPad in the blender? She was trying to make apple juice. What do the Bermuda Triangle and a blonde have in common? They both swallow a lot of sea men aka semen.
How do you drown a blonde? Put a scratch and sniff sticker at the bottom of the pool. Their moms taught them never to speak to strangers. Three blondes walk into a building. How do you confuse a blonde? Put her in a circle and tell her to sit in the corner. What do screen doors and blondes have in common? The more you bang them, the looser they get. What do you call a blond with an actual brain?
A golden retriever. Why did the blonde bring a ladder to the bar? Someone told her drinks were on the house. You can unscrew a lightbulb. What do blondes do when their laptop freezes? Microwave them. Why did the blonde put condoms on her ears? To avoid getting hearing AIDS. What do blondes and dog shit have in common? The older they get, the easier it is to pick them up. Why do blondes make awful bank robbers?
Because they tie up the safe and blow the guards. Why did the blonde put lipstick on her forehead? She was desperately trying to make up her mind. Why do blondes hold their hands tightly over their ears? More From Thought Catalog. Dumb blonde jokes. Blasey Ford - Industrylink Get our newsletter every Friday! You're in! Follow Thought Catalog.
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They have just lost their bull. A blonde at a flashing red light. They try using their cell phones to get help, but have no luck. Q: What did the blonde say when she looked into a box of Cheerios? Q: who gets the money first?
Funny clean short blonde jokes. Short Blonde Jokes
Q: Why did the blonde get so excited after she finished her jigsaw puzzle in only 6 months? A: Because on the box it said from years. Q: Why did the blonde call the welfare office? A: She wanted to know how to cook food stamps! Q: Did you hear about the blonde couple that was found frozen to death in their car at a drive-in movie theater? A: They keep breaking the prescription bottles in the typewriters. Q: A blonde is walking down the street with a pig under her arm.
Q: What goes vroom, screech, vroom, screech, vroom, screech? A: A blonde going through a flashing red light. Q: What did the blonde say when she looked into a box of Cheerios? Donut seeds! Q: Why are blondes hurt by peoples words? A: Because people keep hitting them with dictionaries. A: They keep breaking them with the hammers. Q: How many blondes does it take to change a lightbulb? A: Tw:o. Q: How do you get rid of blondes? Who picks it up? A: The dumb blonde! Q:: If a blonde and a brunette are tossed off a building, who hits the ground first?
A: The brunette. The blonde has to stop to ask for directions. Q: A blonde ordered a pizza and the clerk asked if he should cut it in six or twelve pieces. I could never eat twelve pieces. A: She moved. Q: Why do blondes always rapidly flap their hands towards theirs ears? Q: What is the best thing about getting a blow job from a Spice Girl? A: 10 minutes of silence. Q: What do you do if a spice girl hurls a grenade at you?
A: Take out the pin and throw it back. A: Dunno — never seen either! Q: What is the difference between a Spice Girl and a ? A: Not everyone has been inside a A: They think they are getting their photo taken. Q: How do you know when a Spice Girl has been making chocolate chip cookies?
Q: What does a Spice Girl and a beer bottle have in common? Who landed first? A: The blonde — the Spice Girls had to stop and ask directions! Q: How many Spice Girls does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: None, they only screw in cars. Q: What do a turtle and a spice girl have in common?
Q: Why does it take longer to build a Blonde snowman? A: You have to hollow out the head. Q: What does the Bermuda Triangle and a blonde have in common? A: They both swallowed a lot of semen. Q: Did you hear about the blonde with a PhD in Psychology? Q: Did you hear about the new blonde paint? Q: Why do blondes wash their hair in the sink? A: They know how many went down on the Titanic. Q: Why are blondes like corn flakes? Q: Why did the blonde tattoo her zip-code on her thigh?
A: She wanted a lot of male in her box. Q: What is the difference between blondes and traffic signs? A: Some traffic signs say stop. A: The blonde has the higher sperm count. Q: Why was the blonde confused after giving birth to twins?
Q: What never asks questions but receives a lot of answers? A: The Telephone. Q: What do you call sad coffee? A: Despresso. Q: What is the difference between a school teacher and a train? Q: What kind of jokes do you make in the shower? A: Clean Jokes.
Q: Why did the robber take a bath? A: Because he wanted to make a clean getaway. Brown had two sons. One day the two boys decided to play hide and seek. Trouble hid while Mind Your Own Business counted to one hundred. Mind Your Own Business began looking for his brother behind garbage cans and bushes. If I gave you two apples, and another two apples and another two, how many would you have? Now if I gave you two cats, and another two cats and another two, how many would you have?
Are you kidding? A blonde and a redhead have a ranch. They have just lost their bull. If I can, I will send you a telegram. Having only one dollar left, she goes to the telegraph office and finds out that it costs one dollar per word. She is stumped on how to tell the blonde to bring the truck and trailer.
A woman gets on a bus with her baby. A husband and wife were driving through Louisiana. As they approached Natchitoches, they started arguing about the pronunciation of the town. They argued back and forth, then they stopped for lunch. Would you please pronounce where we are very slowly? I thought you might be that officer trying to give her back!
A wife comes home late one night and quietly opens the door to her bedroom. She reaches for a baseball bat and starts hitting the blanket as hard as she can.
As she enters, she sees her husband there, reading a magazine.
30 Dumb Blonde Jokes That Will Actually Make You LOL | Thought Catalog
Subscribe in a reader. After hours of subzero temperatures and a few close calls with hungry wolves, one blonde turned to the other and said, "I'm chopping down the next tree I see. I don't care whether it's decorated or not! A blond student comes to a young professor's office hours. She glances down the hall, closes his door, kneels pleadingly.
Seconds after he stepped into the laundry room, he shouted to me, "What setting do I use on the washing machine?
A blond woman buys a bath, the next day she returnes to the shop claiming it's broken and leaking water, she says every time i fill it up it just empties. The shop keeper replies have you put the plug in it, she replys "I never knew it was electrical" Two blondes were walking down the road and the first blonde said "Look at that dog with one eye! A blonde was playing Trivial Pursuit one night.
A blonde was taking the tour of a national park not long ago. The ranger mentioned to the tour group that dinosaur fossils had been found in the area. The blonde exclaimed, "Wow! I can't believe the dinosaurs would come this close to the highway!
While waiting at a cross walk for the light to change, a blonde asked why the signal was buzzing. When she was told that it was to let blind people know when the light was red, she replied, "What in the world are blind people doing driving?
Did you hear about the blonde who called the county to have the Deer Crossing sign removed from her road? It seems that too many deer were being hit by cars.
Why does it take longer to build a blonde snowman as opposed to a regular one? You have to hollow out the head. Did you hear about the two blondes that were found frozen to death in their car at a drive-in movie theater? They went to see "Closed for the Winter. A brunette, a blonde, and a redhead are all in third grade. Who is the oldest? The blonde, because she's Why didn't the blonde want a window seat on the plane? She'd just blow dried her hair and she didn't want it blown around too much.
Did you hear about the blonde that was treated at the emergency room for a concussion and severe head wounds? She tried to commit suicide by hanging herself with a bungee cord. What did the blonde say when she knocked over the priceless Ming vase?
What did the blonde say when she looked into a box of Cheerios? Donut seeds! Why did the blonde bake a chicken for 3 and a half days? It said cook it for half an hour per pound, and she weighed Why does a blonde only change her baby's diapers every month? Because it says on the box: "good for up to 20 pounds.
There are three blonds walking in the woods and they come upon a set of tracks. The First Blond says, "Those are Deer tracks. Q: who gets the money first? A: the dumb blonde, because there's no such thing as the tooth fairy or a smart blonde.
Two Muffins are in an oven. There was a blonde who went into a bar, and there was a ventriliquist with a little dummy on his knee who was doing his act about dumb blondes. After a couple of his jokes, she stood up and shook her fist at the ventriliquist, saying " How dare you put a stereotype on people like that!
It is people like you who stop me from being respected poperly! The ventriliquist, who was properly embaressed by now, started to apoligize when the blonde inturupted: " Hey, mister, you stay out of this! I'm talking to the little guy sitting on your knee!
Really Funny Clean Jokes and Humor. Pyramid of steps Cleaning The Dishes. Bookmark Bookmark this site Bookmark this page Make Us your homepage. Blonde Jokes One Liner Jokes short funny jokes. Michelle's fat! Put a scratch-n-sniff at the bottom of a pool.