Happy National Orgasm Day! Yup, July 31 is the one day of the year dedicated to praising orgasms. Although fun holidays like this one and others in the same vein—National Margarita Day, anyone? And when it comes to National Orgasm Day, the best way to celebrate is by hanging out in bed or in the kitchen, or on the living room rug, or some other inventive locale and having an experience that redefines the word "climax. Touching yourself solo can help you understand exactly what you do or don't like in a way partnered sex can't.
We've said it before and we'll say it again: The pelvic floor muscles are the most important muscles many women forget to exercise. Model fayetteville nc therapists orgam tell you that although this approach is admirable — better that men be too concerned with their partners' orgasms than not at all concerned — it can nonetheless constitute a form of voluntary sensory deprivation. Sign Get the ulitimate orgasm for our Newsletter and join us on oorgasm path to tbe. Try to do this two or three times before letting yourself go. Lastly, do your Kegels. Kerner calls the clitoris Get the ulitimate orgasm powerhouse of the female orgasm," and for good reason. The more of this information you get, the happier you will make her. First you want to tease her vagina with your tongue, just licking around before going full force inside. That's an avenue I expected would be number one on most men's hit parade.
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No one actually needs to rally for the wonders of an orgasm when there's enough research—as psychologist and sex therapist Mary Jo Rapini explains—that the tremor-inducing release of serotonin and endorphins can boost the immune system and decrease stress and anxiety.
- We all want to experience those full-body, Earth-shattering orgasms.
- Offering exclusive content not available on Pornhub.
- The process of learning to have multiple orgasms for men is partly a matter of unlearning beliefs about orgasms and sexual response.
- The Author Adina Rivers.
Speaking as a male, I can't think of anything that remotely equals the thrill of an orgasm. What's weird is that, for all the attention it receives, the male orgasm doesn't get talked about in much detail despite the fact that there can be a huge difference in intensity from one to the next. My guess is that the most women don't know this. With this information gap in mind, I set out to discover what, exactly, makes for the most bone-rattling, foundation-shaking male orgasms, and what women can do to encourage their arrival.
I went straight to the experts — a few sex therapists , lots of men. It was as if they the guys, at least were just waiting for someone to ask. So here, finally, is everything you need to know about helping your guy have stronger, longer orgasms. One warning before we begin: Be prepared for surprises, and for seeming contradictions.
It turns out that male orgasms are both as single-minded as they sometimes seem, and at the same time a lot more complicated. As sensitive as men are to skill and technique , they're equally powered by mood, setting, and timing. The fun — for him and for you — is in mixing up the following strategies to see what will work tonight.
So have at it. The biggest secret about men's orgasms , I think, is that they reveal how vulnerable we are. That's why they're so sensitive to the environment; slight changes in the wind can turn a gun salute into a popgun. Will, 30, a bank administrator, for instance, says he sometimes finds he can't come at all if he's too worried about his job.
The surprise for me in interviewing men for this story was that only one of them said he enjoyed being brought to orgasm through oral sex. That's an avenue I expected would be number one on most men's hit parade. And it is — but only as foreplay. We men are really looking for the same things from sex that women are: love, acceptance, and intimacy. The moment of orgasm is when those needs are most exposed, and men — even married men — can get nervous being emotionally naked.
When asked what techniques produced his most intense orgasms, Richard fondly recalled lovers who grabbed him by his butt and pulled him tighter toward them, as if they wanted nothing so much as to completely absorb him. Paul, a year-old executive, talked about how his wife sometimes lovingly strokes his face as he comes.
Therapists can talk for hours about how to achieve true intimacy, but a good place to start would be in bed tonight. Tell your man how much you love him, and mean it.
Then hold on for dear life. A good orgasm for a man is the sexual equivalent of a cold beer at the end of the workday: a satisfying reward for a job well done. The job in this case is pleasing you. A major part of the satisfaction men get from sex is the ego boost that results from making our partners go bonkers in bed. The point is that a lot of men won't allow themselves to savor their own orgasm until they've accomplished that goal.
Sex therapists will tell you that although this approach is admirable — better that men be too concerned with their partners' orgasms than not at all concerned — it can nonetheless constitute a form of voluntary sensory deprivation. By reining in their passion, many men deprive themselves of the sexual abandon that produces the strongest orgasms.
The solution? Give your man the night off. Encourage him to focus on enjoying himself without worrying about taking care of you. There are two basic ways to go about this. One is to tell him, as your lovemaking heats up, that you want this one to be all for him, that tonight he should do whatever makes him feel good. The other is to encourage him to lie back passively and let himself be pleasured by you. Sex therapists say this is a better method, because it enables him to concentrate completely on what he's feeling, rather than on what he's doing.
The same should go for you when he returns the favor another night: Ideally, both of you will regularly take turns teaching the other delightful lessons in the art of orgasmic appreciation. One caution: Michael Seiler, Ph. Don't be surprised, then, if it takes a while before your husband is comfortable turning the reins completely over to you.
Be patient, but be firm. He'll learn to love it. Ask any man after a week on the road — abstinence is the world's most powerful aphrodisiac. Even when he's not out of town, you can contribute to that pent-up, dying-to-make-love state of mind by deploying some sexual teasing tactics during the day. Robert Birch, Ph. The same drive that makes a man an animal when he gets home from a road trip is at work within each individual bout of lovemaking. Uri Peles, M. The more pressure, the more pleasure in the release, because the contractions tend either to be stronger or last longer.
In our heart of hearts, we men know that the longer the foreplay , the stronger the orgasm, for ourselves as well as for our partners.
But at the same time, we have this incredibly powerful drive to simply come, come, come! We can't help it: It's been hardwired into our sexual circuitry over thousands of years.
The trick for you is to help your husband set aside this evolutionary imperative so that sex lasts long enough for a truly eventful climax to build. Linda De Villers, Ph. Other delaying tactics can be brought into play as the festivities progress.
Stopping for an occasional cooling-off period works beautifully, but takes discipline. The woman-on-top position is useful because it helps the man restrain his urge to start thrusting.
A prolonging method that may take practice is called the "squeeze technique. You can then start your mutual ascent to the mountaintop again. A corollary of the quickie concept is the sneak attack: An element of sexual surprise can produce a powerful climax. Sometimes you need to cut through all the chaos and clutter of modern life. Anything from job pressure to money woes to kid problems to bedroom boredom can come between you and your man's deepest passions. Spontaneity can help bring him to his senses.
A good time to try this is on a weekend morning. That's usually when men are most relaxed and their testosterone levels are at their peak. It's not really politically correct to admit this, but the truth is that when orgasm is imminent, there's only one male erogenous zone, and you know where it is. It makes sense, therefore, that when men are out for the most lustful orgasms, their positions of choice tend to be those that provide the most direct penile stimulation, and the best opportunities for penile thrust.
I also love it when my wife is on top, holding herself up, especially when she does that backward. Carl also mentions another favorite form of penile stimulation: the vaginal squeeze of a woman who's been doing her Kegel exercises. Kegels strengthen the PC muscle, the one you clench when you want to shut off your flow of urine.
Arousal is a mysterious and powerful thing, and sometimes the frenzied abandon of a quick and lustful coupling can produce a climax that's every bit as explosive as a marathon session in the sack. I suspect this has something to do with that centuries-old sexual circuitry we mentioned: Sex without ceremony can tap into deep reservoirs of animal instinct. I personally had one of my strongest orgasms when my wife overpowered me as I innocently came home from work one night — pieces of clothing were scattered between the front door and the bedroom.
I'm sure the fact that she was the instigator added fuel to the fire. As concentrated as we men are on our penises, there are other strategic spots that, when stimulated, can send us careening over the edge. Some men say that having their testicles stroked as they come heightens the sensation. Having the scrotum rubbed feels great. Richard, 49, a writer and editor, loves it when his wife rubs his nipples; Carl recalls a girlfriend who greedily sucked his fingers.
If he's comfortable with anal play, a prostate massage can result in an extra intense, prolonged orgasm. To find his, slowly insert a well-lubed finger about one inch into his anus, then move your digit in a "come here" motion. There are parts all over a guy's body that might stimulate him and drive him crazy — and they may be less obvious than the aforementioned places.
Have you given any consideration to his torso, temples, or chest? Well, you should. Another special spot? The sensitive space between his balls and butt. No matter the positioning, reach an arm around or through to gently place a finger tip or even knuckle on the area, taking care to see how he reacts to see if that pressure is right. Yep — they can make male orgasms stronger too.
And they've also been shown to significantly improve erectile function in men who deal with ED. Have you considered all the sexy things you can say to a man? Spoiler alert: The dirtier, the better.
Don't underestimate the power your words can have during foreplay, leading up to something even more explosive for him. The male orgasm consists of two stages. In stage 1, the sperm is drawn up from the testicles and pooled with ejaculatory fluids in a sort of staging area just below the prostate gland. Masters and Johnson called this the point of "ejaculatory inevitability," meaning that the man's mother, his priest, and his former girlfriend could walk in the room, and his orgasm would continue as if nothing had happened.
Stage 2, which kicks in seconds later, is ejaculation. If possible, avoid interrupting your man's concentration as the stages unfold. Using techniques that both of you know and like is fine, but unexpected, dramatic maneuvers at the point of orgasm are more likely to distract than accentuate. Moving a lot falls into that category. Simply stand back, as it were, and let his orgasm happen.
Bill April 24, Advertisement - Continue Reading Below. The study showed that if people paused when they were about 90 percent of the way to climax, and then resumed after slowing down a bit, their eventual orgasm was way more powerful. However, there are ways to shorten this phase, she explains. Find your male G spot. He was so gentle and took his time.
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More testosterone equals stronger orgasms. The study showed that if people paused when they were about 90 percent of the way to climax, and then resumed after slowing down a bit, their eventual orgasm was way more powerful. Try to do this two or three times before letting yourself go. It turns out that men have an equivalent to the G-spot: the prostate.
Have your partner lube up the soft pad of a finger and stick it about 2 inches inside your butt. Once you get there, apply some pressure and light thrusting.
The manly hormone that helps you orgasm is the same one that your body produces when you root for your favorite sports team, lift weights at the gym, or watch Game of Thrones. Before your next romp, try some testosterone-boosting activities like going for a run. Just before you ejaculate, your testicles rise up near your body to give more power to your ejaculation. Ask your partner to place the palm of her hand upward on your balls, moving them a little closer to your body.
For a better orgasm, return to your body. Mentally, you may want to go for another round after achieving a great orgasm, but most guys physically can't get another erection immediately following sex. This period is different for every guy and can last anywhere from minutes to a full day.
However, there are ways to shorten this phase, she explains. The best way to decrease refractory time is by increasing arousal. Even small changes can be just the novelty and excitement needed to rev up the engines for round two," she said. First, you should maintain a low blood pressure for the sake of your overall health. However, keeping your blood pressure low can also help with your sex life. That's because damage from high blood pressure limits blood flow throughout your body—including the penis.
This can make it difficult to maintain erections. Plus, high blood pressure is linked to problems with ejaculation and reduced sexual desire, according to the Mayo Clinic. Type keyword s to search. Today's Top Stories. Do kegels Take a tip out of your partner's sex playbook.
Woo For Play amazon. What things do you do to get turned on? What happens to your body and your breathing as you become even more stimulated? What does it feel like just before an orgasm? Just before you ejaculate? What happens to your body after orgasm? Learning to distinguish your orgasm from ejaculation takes time and a keen attention. I would also recommend doing these exercises alone at first. If you have someone else there, part of your attention will be on them.
This process is all about awareness. As you begin the exercise get relaxed, you may want to get naked also and try to tune into how your body feels in the moment. Run your hands up and down your body, and really feel your body. Now you can masturbate however you like to, but pay attention to the energy in your body. Are some parts of your body much warmer than others? Does the warm energy move up or down your body, or stay in one place?
As you get closer to a climax how does the energy in your body change? If you feel yourself reaching the point of no return stop the stimulation and take some deep breaths. Do this at least twice. Do this to get a more detailed sense of what your point of no return is like, and discover how you can control when you cross that point.
As you feel yourself coming closer to climax stop the stimulation as you have in the past, but this time squeeze your PC muscle and hold it for a few seconds. Notice how this feels. This is the technique you can use to prevent yourself from ejaculating and create the opportunity to have several orgasms in a row. The final stage of this exercise is to let yourself have an orgasm while using the techniques learned above including breath, awareness, and squeezing your PC muscle.
The first time you try this, let yourself orgasm, but squeeze your PC muscle just as you feel yourself going "over the top".
How to orgasm – get the perfect female orgasm for Masturbation Month | Metro News
No one actually needs to rally for the wonders of an orgasm when there's enough research—as psychologist and sex therapist Mary Jo Rapini explains—that the tremor-inducing release of serotonin and endorphins can boost the immune system and decrease stress and anxiety. But when there's still a wide "pleasure gap" to bridge today—the term describing the slim number of women who experience orgasms during sex in relation to men—the main question is how. Below, we consulted advice from across the scientific spectrum, from medical studies to sexperts to sex therapists, on ways to enhance the female orgasm and feel connected to your partner without giving up your primal right to come.
A study in the journal Hormones and Behavior shows that an increases in the "love drug" oxytocin helped couples have more intense orgasms. It doesn't require any supplements for a big boost in the hormone, though, as your average cuddling, hugging, kissing, and bonding activities can do the trick.
Make sure to carve out more bonding time with each other or extend your foreplay sessions before sex to enhance your sexual performance. Instead of speeding toward the finish line, science says that building your way up to the brink of an orgasm then stopping—otherwise known as edging—and building yourself back up to the point of climax can encourage better, stronger orgasms.
Sign up for a 5K race or schedule a game of tennis. Merely anticipating a competition triggers a 24 percent boost in testosterone for women, according to a study published in the journal Evolution and Human Behavior. And any increase in that hormone also drives up your libido, so consider it a win-win. Plus, exercise stimulates blood flow to the genital area, increasing desire and lifting your mood. Prior to sex, take a hot bath, or—if you're short on time—place a warm washcloth over your vulva for a few minutes.
Heat boosts blood flow to your vagina, leading to increased lubrication and sensitivity, says Hilda Hutcherson , author of Pleasure. As tantric instructor Dawn Cartright explains , harnessing the power of breath can slow down your mind and make it hyper-sensitive to full-body sensations. Open yourself up to orgasmic joys by breathing and rocking together, then tightening your PC muscles before sex. Saffron, which releases its intense flavor when heated, has been considered an aphrodisiac for thousands of years.
Women who use vibrators say they have an easier time reaching orgasm during vibrator-free sex with a partner, according to a survey of 1, women conducted by the Berman Women's Wellness Center. If you're tech-friendly, try a vibrating "bullet" attachment that's discreet enough to fit in your pocket or on your neck.
Or, get him in the action with one of the many couples' vibrators out there, from the We-Vibe to the Eva. During the first two days of your cycle, your testosterone levels surge, your libido soars, and your breasts and clitoris become ultra-sensitive, says Gabrielle Lichterman , author of 28 Days: What Your Cycle Reveals about Your Love Life, Moods, and Potential.
Intense orgasms may happen more easily than usual—and multiples are much more likely. Experts also suggest timing sex in the early morning when men experience their highest testosterone levels, or in the afternoon on weekends when women tend to ovulate. If you're shorter than your guy, stand a step or two above him. Face him or turn toward the railing so he can enter you from behind.
Hint: Grip the rail for leverage—and don't lean over too far! Majorly elevate your odds of climaxing during sex with the Coital Alignment Technique , says Dubberley. Have your partner lie on top of you, with his pelvis directly over yours. Wrap your legs around his thighs and rock together gently. Push up and forward so that your clitoris makes contact with the base of his penis. Patience is key: Find your rhythm and stick to it until you orgasm. Follow Marie Claire on F acebook for the latest celeb news, beauty tips, fascinating reads, livestream video, and more.
Type keyword s to search. Today's Top Stories. The Ultimate Halloween Party Playlist. Should You Chase Happiness? Getty Images. Ramp up the Foreplay A study in the journal Hormones and Behavior shows that an increases in the "love drug" oxytocin helped couples have more intense orgasms.
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