Husband not attracted to wife-My Husband Is Not Attracted to Me | Laura Doyle

Recently a reader contacted me regarding my Married Sex series to tell me her story in the hopes of getting some answers. We'll call my reader Maggie. Maggie has been harboring a secret for the last five years of her year marriage. No, she isn't having an affair, hasn't decided she's a lesbian, isn't realizing she's transgender and is not a spy for North Korea. Her secret is more simple than that, but she fears it could spell the end of her marriage.

Husband not attracted to wife

Husband not attracted to wife

Husband not attracted to wife

Question: I've been with my partner nine years and I love him very much, but I've had no sex drive for nearly four years now. Yes, I would love to talk to your situation and know a bit more, and Husband not attracted to wife help you both. And we usually let each other know about our weekend plans with plenty of advance notice. I would have been fine if he had told me he made the plans and sorry but that was that. While I believe Maggie when she says she isn't having an Matt hardy bare ass, I can't help but worry that's a possibility if the subject isn't addressed.

Beaver creek lodge vail. MORE IN Weddings

Husband not attracted to wife important thing to consider is what you can do to remedy those issues. There were some other, broader issues we discussed, but he stated again this is now the 3rd time that, while he loves me for many reasons and is attracted to me in a lot of ways, he is less physically Husband not attracted to wife to me now after having our son he is 18 mos old. Not all women have the same level of extroversion when it comes to sex either. Don't forget to Sign Up for Our Blog below so you'll get my answer as soon as it's published. How Blonde girl hotties I fix this hole inside me. Answer: Yes, many of the same techniques would apply to men as well. When we met my husband was in the army an we lived in germany. Nini February 29, You married him because he had great "husband" qualities: He treats you well, he works 40 hours a week, and your likes and interests match up. He is a workoholic,always has been, so it has been difficult to implement any thing to improve things. How can I just stop?

I have posted a few months ago about my issues with Darling Husband not being able to ejaculate, and how we were TTC.

  • I love writing about relationships and helping my readers navigate all their ups and downs.
  • It happens when people stay long enough with each other to get bored of their quips and antics.
  • Like me, these women usually think the problem is either that she married the wrong guy or that her weight, her age, or her post-baby body has made her less beautiful.
  • Part 1 of 2.
  • About a year into my marriage, I started to realize I was no longer attracted to my husband.
  • This may be a blessing to you if you are in a similar situation AND if you are emotionally and spiritually strong enough in Christ to face this thing head on.

Recently a reader contacted me regarding my Married Sex series to tell me her story in the hopes of getting some answers. We'll call my reader Maggie. Maggie has been harboring a secret for the last five years of her year marriage. No, she isn't having an affair, hasn't decided she's a lesbian, isn't realizing she's transgender and is not a spy for North Korea. Her secret is more simple than that, but she fears it could spell the end of her marriage.

Maggie's secret? She no longer finds her husband Eddie sexually attractive. She's suffering from a chronic case of sexual dissatisfaction and feeling pretty shallow. They were part of a group of dorm dwellers who rented out an ice rink to play broom hockey, running around on the ice in their tennis shoes. Maggie recalls falling instantly in lust when Eddie body-checked her in front of the goal net.

Eddie played on the 'SC tennis team. He was long-limbed at six-feet tall and lithe. He had a full head of blonde, Byronic curls and a killer smile. Better yet, he was a one-woman man who fell deeply in love with Maggie.

Two years after college they married and quickly had three little boys. Eddie carved his way into a prestigious law firm while Maggie stayed home to raise their boys. As Maggie explains it she often worried that Eddie might lose interest in her. She'd put on a substantial amount of weight with the birth of each baby. She sometimes felt she was a little boring "just being a mom.

But Eddie's love never wavered. Finally, when their boys hit high school, Maggie had a lot more time for herself. She decided to drop those extra pounds and started taking tennis lessons at the local rec center. Ironically Eddie had entirely given tennis up while Maggie began to love it, getting so good she competed in local competitions, frequently winning trophies.

She lost 30 pounds the first year playing tennis and 20 more the year after that, getting in the best shape of her life. In the meantime Eddie seemed to gain all the weight Maggie shed, he lost most of his gorgeous head of hair and had taken up cigar smoking.

All of this resulted in Maggie, quite simply, falling out of lust with her man. She vows there's no tennis pro hiding in her boudoir. That she hasn't strayed, but worries she's doomed to a life of sexual dissatisfaction. I asked Maggie if she'd spoken to Eddie about this and she said no, because she felt like she was a selfish person who should appreciate him for who he is as a father and a husband. That those things alone should be enough to make Eddie attractive to her especially since he'd loved her through her own bout of self-described unattractiveness.

She worries that if she tells Eddie how she feels, their sex life will end entirely because he may no longer initiate. My advice to Maggie was to be honest with her husband and let him know this is a problem for her, therefore a weak spot in the marriage. While I believe Maggie when she says she isn't having an affair, I can't help but worry that's a possibility if the subject isn't addressed.

My own year marriage has certainly had its share of sexual ruts and times we don't find each other attractive. Just the other night I got into bed with Henry ready to snuggle up to sleep when he began to kiss me. This isn't a peck. Perhaps this is a sexual overture? There's only one way to find out. That's what it sounds like when I take out my night guard. It's especially sexy if there's a lot of spit slinky-ing between my mouth and the bite guard when I remove it.

Henry asked if I wouldn't mind brushing my teeth before we resumed. Could it be he didn't find the bite guard sexy? I also only wash my hair twice a week or it gets frizzy so sometimes Henry asks me to please wash my hair before I get into bed because I "smell like an eight-year old boy after he's lost an egg tossing competition and has a dozen yolks in his hair.

And don't even get me started on my Irritable Bowel Syndrome, because that's just so sexxxaaayyy. One night we climbed into bed and Henry began to initiate sex after a month on a yeasty-white-bread-carb rampage. To say Henry was disgruntled is an understatement and I felt like a world-class wanker, but his reaction to this ignominy was to drop 10 pounds. What I'm learning as we go along is that sometimes sex just isn't that great or important, but there are other times when it flourishes again and can even be exciting.

And communication about dissatisfaction, while it may seem unfriendly or mean, is often what it takes to get out of a rut. I'd love to hear any suggestions you may have for Maggie and to hear how you've battled sexual boredom, lulls and lack of desire in your own relationships. News U. HuffPost Personal Video Horoscopes. Newsletters Coupons.

Follow Us. Suggest a correction. Newsletter Sign Up.

Although you didn't ask, if your partner is a good person and you are satisfied otherwise with the relationship, I would not let this person go. I think it might be a solution for me cause i feel exactly the same. We can work on the marriage at the same time. But since we are not able to change other people you might find his behavior does not change, even if you tell him this many times. Sheryl, Sorry to hear about your separation and not much liking your husband at the moment. Your advice is so right on, except in my opinion to this girl.

Husband not attracted to wife

Husband not attracted to wife

Husband not attracted to wife. My Husband Is Not Attracted to Me

.

When Your Spouse Is No Longer Attractive To You: Sexual Dissatisfaction | HuffPost Life

I have posted a few months ago about my issues with Darling Husband not being able to ejaculate, and how we were TTC. I pretty much just keep it all in as no one in our families know that we have this issues, so I have learned to just be patient and to not express my dissapointment for the lack of sex and his performance.

It has been really hard, but I am getting better at it. After several months of trying, he broke down yesterday when we were attempting to make love sorry TMI. It took him a long while to answer my question we were both in the dark late around midnight. I totally understand his frustration. I know he has felt depressed and has lots of ups and downs. I try to be as supportive as I can.

Well, then he went ahead to tell me that he is having a hard time getting aroused apparently he can ejaculate just fine on his own after a while and to help him with that, he needs to feel attracted to me physically. He said pretty much the extra pounds I carry. I agree that I have gained at least 20 lbs since the wedding which I was at my lowest since high school. I am 5 feet tall and weigh lbs, so I am definitely not in good shape. We were not intimate prior to the wedding, so we grew up to love each other without the intimacy component, which honestly I kind of regret.

Anyways, I am not sure if we would be together if we did have sex before getting married. I consider myself average in beauty, and he wants me to loose the extra pounds. I love him, and even though we both want kids, we know his lack of confidence and attraction to me is hindering us from having kids. I am questioning whether it is a good idea to have kids now?

Is this just a phase? Is this even normal for husband to lose interest in his wife this way? Is he being immature? Should I tell him to move on without me? Could he be happier if he was alone working out his issues and finding himself?

Any advice and words of wisdom would be appreciated. Thanks for reading. Has this been an issue from the get go? Even immediately after the wedding? If so, his excuse about you gaining weight is bogus. In that case, I think it could be an issue he has had, but is embarassed and is putting the blame on you which is wrong. Either way, even if it is because you gained weight, there were better ways he could have put it. Love and attraction are two different things. If my husband gained pounds, I would still love him immensely.

Not you, not him. However, if I were in your shoes, I would diet and excercise more in order to make myself more sexually appealing to my husband. I am down to today. Are you happy staying with him, with him potentially never regaining that sexual attraction? Would you be happier, would your marriage be stronger and would he be happier if you did?

What if you did it together? It hurts it really does but they are being honest. I feel better the more weight i loose and feel more sexy for him and more healthy for the children we are TTC.. Good luck, take it as constructive criticism from someone who loves you for you and wouldnt have married you otherwise He cares about you otherwise he wouldnt try, he would leave but he doesnt want to!..

Dont change yourself completely but i think trying to please him will make things allot easyer. I did end up losing around 50 pound — primarily for myself but of course I want him to be proud of how I look too. I would always love Darling Husband too regardless of looks but honestly would not be super attracted either if he stacked on the weight.

Physically I would be less attracted and also would lose some respect if the gain was as a result of eating crap and sitting on the couch. Do you find him attractive now? You both need to have an honest conversation about this; make your husband tell you the truth, as hard as it might be to hear.

You should find out if he had ever found you attractive, and if so, when did that specifically start to change? What does he find sexually attractive? Do you need for him to show and verbalize apprecation towards you and your body to feel attractive? This would give you a starting point, in that if he did find you attractive at some point, you can decide if its worth it to try to work together to get back to that point.

Some things to think about: do you want to change the way you look? Would it even help the issue for both you and him? Even if it were possible, would you always be insecure that if your body altered in any way, such as after having children, your husband would go back to being unattracted to you?

Would your husband not like your body after you bear his children? Lastly, now that your husband dumped that on your lap, if you both decide to stay and work on things, its now his responsibility to build your confidence in your attractiveness again.

Its appalling that he stated things in that way, and now your perception of yourself will be changed by his words. Not cool. I think that one thing that might help both of you is if your husband did a little exercise: Everyday, he has to tell you one thing he finds sexy about you. It can be small, but little by little, that positive reinforcement will help you both build your confidence, him to find attractive things about you and boost your relationship.

Its such a huge important aspect of an intimate relationship that one or both of you will probably regret not having that. You could then buy some lingerie that really shows off the sexiest parts of you, and see if that helps you be more intimate together. She was slim but shapely when they got married and now she is a lot heavier. Her husband is a little stick of a man and always has been. But, OP, it is more than the 20 lbs that you are talking about.

I think I can count with my two hands the times he has been able to ejaculate inside me. I think the first 6 months were good. He says there is nothing physically wrong with him, and I believe him because he can ejaculate just fine on his own. This annoys me! I hope this is not just an excuse to cover his performance issues. I have to believe him, so at least I am thankful he is not cheating on me.

I am not sure, if he wants me to be hot and sexy like some of those people…. I especially like your last paragraph. I am not sure if he would ever be attracted physically to me the way I want.

Even if I lose weight, and especially if I end up pregnant, I would be huge then losing all the baby weight. What to do? Find support, ask questions, swap stories, and follow brides planning real weddings here on Weddingbee.

Page of 3. Post 1. Member 26 posts. Member posts. That is devastating, and my heart goes out to you. Get the best wedding inspiration, advice, and more from Weddingbee. Subscribe to Newsletter.

I agree to receive emails from the site. I can withdraw my consent at any time by unsubscribing. I'd like to receive news and offers via e-mail. My co-worker's husband attempted suicide. I can wear….

Husband not attracted to wife

Husband not attracted to wife